The Blog of The Doteman

Well, I suppose I haven’t really been very good about writing in this thing.  Sorry about that.  It’s pretty much been the same old crap, just different days.  My mom is still pissing me off.  But that’s nothing new.  She’s been on a rampage lately, and I know why… it happens every damn month.  But I don’t really think that that is an excuse.  Let me lay my thoughts on that out for you.

Fortunately for the human race, we are a very complicated organism, with one organ that basically controls the rest of the body.  This organ is, of course, the brain.  Unfortunately for the male half of the human race, most women tend to get a flood of hormones at certain portions of the month, which puts them in a really pissy mood, which the male half of the population generally has to endure.  That is the view that my dad takes in the matter.  I, however, take a different view.  I think that the brain is the most powerful organ in the body, and it can overcome the stupidity that comes into one’s brain from these hormones.  There may be one exception to this, which would be while a woman is pregnant, though I still think that extremes can be avoided with proper use of the brain… Anyway, I refuse to believe that my mom is unable to see how stupid she is being when she is in this state, because she says the most ridiculous things and I point them out, which just makes her even more adamant in trying to make me believe that she is right, which never happens.  I tell her how stupid she is being, which makes her more angry.  This is fine, because if she is going to piss and moan about meaningless shit, and annoy the hell out of me and piss me off, then she should be forced to be a little bit pissed as well.  I feel that if you realize you are being completely idiotic, you should give in and admit that you were wrong.

Now keep in mind that this theory puts a lot of emphasis on the brain’s power.  I suppose I am giving my mom’s brain too much credit, because I know for a fact that it is an extremely weak brain.  The more I live with her, the more I am convinced that she becomes stupider and stupider everyday.  But let me give you an example.

We just got a new computer stand, which is much smaller than the one we had for our family computer.  My dad had all kinds of crap stored in that huge thing.  My mom, being in one of her idiotic moods, tells my dad that she’s pissed that he has so much to move off of it, and that he better not keep it all.  She said that if he puts it all in crates and puts it downstairs, then she will find it, and throw it all out.  And she just kept getting more pissed off, and somehow the tirade turned into her blaming him for the mess of all the stuff on the stand.  He said he would take care of it, and she wouldn’t let it go.  She’s just like “You know, you never take the blame for anything!”.  Now, let’s pause here for a second.

At this, I would have merely said “Look who’s talking, miss I-do-no-wrong.”  But my dad just let it go.  I don’t know how he can take so much abuse and not do anything about it.  She says all kinds of things to him that I’d flip out over.  Especially since he fuckin dotes on that fat piece of shit, and she gives him nothing.  Anyway, unpause.

Let me rewind now, to a time a little less than a year ago, during which my mom, dad, Leah, Kevin and I went on a trip to Philadelphia.  My idiot mother decided not to go to the bank during normal hours, even though she had plenty of time, so we would have to stop on the way to Philly.  This is mistake number one.  So we get directions to stop at a bank around Scranton, which my dad leaves at home.  This is mistake number two.  My dad is willing to rectify his mistake, and take the 10 minute detour back home to pick up the directions, but my mom says “NO, we are not going home, it’s such a waste of gas.  You forget the directions all the time!”.  This is mistake number three.  So we go, and we get to the bank ok, though it took longer than it should have.  Anyway, she goes to the bank, and she gets out her money, and then we get back on the highway we were on, which was already leading us out of the way, because we had to take this bank detour.  Now, note here that there was a sign probably 3 miles back that said there was an exit to get on the highway that we wanted to get on.  Also note that on the directions, it showed that we had to backtrack a little and take that exit…  But my mom is like “NO, we are going to get back on the same highway, and then take the next exit that will take us the the pennsylvania turnpike.”  This was mistake number five.  What was mistake number four, you say?  Mistake number four was letting my dad drive when we left the bank, because even if I said that I got directions on mapquest and they were in my pocket and it said to backtrack, but my mom said keep going, he’d just keep going, because my mom controls him.  Anyway, turns out there was no other exit to get on the turnpike, and we drove like an hour out of the way.  So then we had to drive through these stupid little towns to get to philly on a route that would get us there in almost twice the time it normally takes to get to philly.  Now, who’s fault would you say that is?  I’d say the majority of the mistakes go to my idiot mother, but when I blame her, she STILL denies that it was her fault.  I didn’t think that my dad would listen to my mom’s irrational stupidity, but that was my mistake, and my dad forgot the directions, but he was willing to fix it.  My mom doesn’t even acknowledge that anything was her fault.  Do you see why I hate dealing with this stupid bitch?  It’s a load of garbage.  She has the reasoning power of a 3 year old, and the IQ of a tree.  Wait, I don’t want to give her too much credit… she has the IQ of a dead tree.

WHO is the one who never takes the blame for anything?????

Can you tell that every day, my hatred for her bullshit grows?

She needs to have some common sense (which coincidentally, she prides herself on having a ton of… but then again, she thinks that common sense is multi-tasking…).  I get more and more fed up with her bullshit everyday.

On another totally unrelated note… My dad is obsessed with Mafia Wars on facebook.  Unbelievable.  He lives for it, which is really bad.  But then again, if I was married to my mom (wow, that sounds weird), I’d be obsessed with anything that allowed me to forget reality for a little while too.

Wow, I am quite the complainer.  It’s getting really bad.  I have just been in a really bad mood lately, and it’s all because of her.  She just keeps pissing me off.  I live for the times that I spend out of the house.  I live to go to Buffalo, and to hang out with my friends.  I really almost can’t stand it at all anymore.  I thought I was losing it the other night.  It’s getting to be too much.  I feel like maybe I should go to a psychiatrist or something.  I feel like the longer I deal with this, the more angry I get, and the more violent my thoughts become.  It’s really kinda scaring me a little bit, which sounds lame, but if you were me, you’d be kinda freaked out.

Thank God that she went on vacation to Florida for a week.  I wish that I could take a vacation anytime I want, even if my kids were paying my taxes (and my idiot daughter’s) for me…  Wouldn’t that be the life?  But then again, if I had that life, I’d be my mom, and that would be too awful to live with.

Hello, everyone who reads this (one being the key word there, because I really think only one will… anyway…).  Another topic has recently been reopened in my catalog of grievances that I have about my mom.  If you happen to be a new reader, you will learn that this catalog is extensive, and I think with good reason.  Anyway…

It has come to my attention that my mom took a day off of work last week (Friday) to hang out with a male friend of hers.  Not my Dad, which happens to be the problem, though not the whole problem.  Not only did she take a day off to spend time with a guy that isn’t my dad, but she went on an overnight trip with this man to Philadelphia.  I don’t really know what you think about this, but I think it’s pretty weird.  I don’t think that a woman who has been married for 28 years and currently still is, should be going on overnight trips with men that they are not married to.  That just seems wrong.  It kinda makes me think that something weird is going on there…  And another thing, she went to Philadelphia, which happens to be where my sister lives.  She didn’t call my sister or anything.  I told my sister about this whole thing on the phone today (Sunday).  If you are going to be in the city where your daughter, that you only get to see maybe once every few months, lives, wouldn’t you at least call her?  That would make sense to me.  Especially when she is going on her honeymoon in a week in Jamaica and you won’t see her till after that.  Another thing about this whole sketchy business is that she went with this guy to go to a train show on Friday.  SHE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT TRAINS AND COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THEM!  What possible motivation could she have for driving all the way to Philly (a 3 hour drive), when she hates car rides and then going to a train show when she has no interest in trains.  That just doesn’t make sense to me.

This whole thing has been going on for some time, but this is the first time that there has been an overnight trip.  And I’ve been kinda suspicious since I first knew about it.  Let me say here that ever since I was about 3 or 4, I’ve had trust issues with my mom, so that may factor into my suspicions of her, but I think that that is really beside the point.  Let us go back in time and see how this situation came to be…

My mom has this friend, who I won’t name.  Not out of any respect for him (God knows I don’t respect him), just because I feel that it isn’t exactly my business telling everyone his name, since this whole thing is kinda not directly related to me.  Most people know I think very little of my mom, so I don’t mind talking about her on here.  Anyway, she has this friend, and since a year or two ago, they started hanging out.  He would take her to see a movie or something or out to dinner.  This is when I began to think it was sketchy.  And I asked my Dad about it and he said “she says she goes out with him because I don’t have the money to take her out”.  YEAH, that’s because my dad spends all his money on bills and stuff, and she ends up spending the money that he has for himself on food or cigarettes.  Anyway…  That alone is bad.  When you go out on what could be considered dates with a man you aren’t married to when you are married.  So they go out to movies and things…  Then it progresses to when he goes on a day trip or something, he calls her up, and like a dog, she just comes to him.  They go on day trips all over the place.  Scranton, Syracuse, a bunch of places.  Anyway, while it was in this stage, several other sketchy things happened.  One day, we get a call at our house from this guy, and obviously my mom talks to him, and it turns out he’s sick.  So SHE GOES OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND BRINGS HIM SOUP!!!!!!  He’s over 50 years old, for Christ’s sake!  If he was a little kid, I could understand.  It’s not like he can’t take care of himself.  That is pretty weird… it kinda seems to me like it’s a little more than friendship… but anyway…  Another incident is this:  He just retired and decided he was going to buy himself a new bed.  Understandable.  What isn’t understandable?  My mom goes bed shopping with a guy that she isn’t married to.  Weird.  She was telling my sister how comfortable it is after he got it delivered to his house.  And not only that, but she bought him sheets to put on the bed, and went over to his house when he got the mattress to put the sheets on for him.  If that doesn’t seem weird to you, then you are kinda screwed up, that’s all I’m saying.  She brings him food all the time.  She brings him sandwiches and things… remember how he was taking her out because my dad didn’t have the money to do so?  Well apparently she has the money to feed him.  What’s the big deal if my dad doesn’t have the money to take her stupid lazy ass out, if she has the money to feed herself and another guy?  Why can’t she take my dad out once in a fuckin while?

So now on Thursday, she comes home all excited because she doesn’t have to go to work on Friday, and she’s taking this trip with him.  Well, I view that as cheating on your husband, but that’s just me.  I think that if Leah and I were married, and she did that, I’d be real pissed.  I’d probably be pissed if she did it now, and we aren’t even engaged.  I know she wouldn’t though, because she is a good person.

These are common marriage vows.  The most basic ones that you can use pretty much:

“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

Yes, mom, there is a part saying that just because your husband doesn’t have a ton of money, you can’t just go off and fuck another man (not that any sane man would fuck my mom anyway).  I’m not really worried about them fucking, but just being that close to each other and him taking her out and stuff… I view that as her cheating on my dad.

It’s BS.  I really don’t know what to do.  I want to be able to prove that she is cheating on him if I ever have to.  If they ever broke up, I would honestly want my dad to get as much as possible, because he does so much for her and she is totally ungrateful for it.  She always thinks that she deserves more.  And it drives me nuts.  She treats everyone like they are lower than her, but in reality, she has no reason to believe that.  If anyone is low, it is her.  She is pitiful.  But anyway, I’m getting kinda sick of even thinking about this, so I’m gonna leave it here for a while, and then maybe I’ll write more about it another time.

Any comments or advice would be welcome.

So unfortunately the first post is kinda serious.  I’ll try to keep these to a minimum, but I feel like I have to write this out in order to properly process it.

Here are my options…

Option 1:  Go to grad school in the fall for a masters of professional studies degree, which is basically a non-thesis master’s degree.  This would be great, because I could finish in about a year, and I’d be able to get a bit more training before entering the workforce as an engineer.  Plus, I think that a master’s degree will count as a year toward the four years I need to get a professional engineering license.  Also, I wouldn’t really lose the momentum of productivity that I had in my undergraduate studies.  I realize now that I was at my peak performance at that point in my life.  I studied for the FE, took a grad course, and took 4 other courses.  This might not seem like a lot, but it was pretty tough.  At least I thought so.  Anyway, back to the topic.  I feel like if I don’t do this now, it will be a lot harder to do if I wait another year.  That’s my main motivator for going now.  Plus, it would only be a year.  Then I gotta do a project, but that can be on something I do while I’m working, I think.  So yeah, that is pretty good.  The bad side to this is that it will put me more in debt, it will take me away from most of the people that I care about, and it won’t really seem like it does me any good until I get out.  I feel like I need to know more before I become an engineer though.

Option 2:  Try and get a job, and wait to go to grad school.  This option is appealing, though it won’t really solve many of my problems.  It would more than likely still take me away form the people I care about.  It would probably be really hard to get a job also, especially since I don’t feel like I have any skills really.  I would also probably not want to go back after I get a job.  Making money will be far too awesome to give up for the sake of stupid old school.  I hate school with a passion, but if I can get another degree in a year, then I might as well do it, because chances are, I won’t do it ever again.  Plus, my grandparents will go nuts about it if I don’t.  Another bad side though, is that there are better programs out there that I’d love to get into, but I just can’t because it’s too late to apply.  I’d have to wait till next year, which is something idk if I can do.  Idk.  We’ll see.

On another note, I should really get to bed.  It’s 3:42 in the morning and I’m exhausted from thinking about this crap.

I’ll write again soon I’m sure.